The art of healthy boundaries
Setting boundaries can feel tough, like trying to keep everyone happy while staying true to yourself. When we say “yes” too often or let frustrations build up, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Have you ever found yourself snapping unexpectedly or bottling up anger all the time until it overflows? If so, you’re not alone.
In my blog from last week, I explained already a bit about Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and TCM offers a unique perspective on these emotional challenges. According to TCM, emotions are deeply connected to our organs and the flow of Qi (energy) in our bodies. Anger and frustration, for example, are associated with the Liver. When your Liver Qi stagnates, you might feel irritable, on edge or even physically tense.
So how do we navigate conflicts and protect our boundaries in a balanced and healthy way? Let’s explore.
Do I often say "yes" when I want to say "no"? And when do I do this?
Do I feel drained after spending time with certain people or in certain environments?
Am I afraid of conflicts? Or do I avoid expressing my needs?
Recognizing where your boundaries are being tested is the first step to reclaiming your balance.
In moments of irritation or anger, stop… pause and check in with your body. Take a slow and deep breath in and out. TCM teaches that stuck Liver Qi can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, tight shoulders or digestive discomfort.
I would like to give a quick and helpful acupressure exercise that can help:
Locate the spot on your foot between the big toe and second toe, about two finger widths back from the webbing. Apply gentle pressure and massage for a minute on each foot. This can help smooth the flow of Qi and release pent-up tension. This point is called Liver 3 (Taichong) acupressure point. Pair this with deep belly breathing: inhale for four counts, hold for four and exhale slowly for six. Imagine your frustration melting away with each breath.
Healthy boundaries are like a protective shield, they allow you to give without losing yourself.
Practice saying “no” kindly but firmly. Start small, like declining a minor favor, to build confidence.
Take breaks to recharge. Whether it’s a walk outside or five minutes of quiet, create space to reconnect with yourself.
Reflect on how much you’re taking on. Are you absorbing others’ emotions or problems? Visualize a golden bubble around you, shielding your energy from external negativity.
Conflict isn’t always bad, it’s often a sign that something needs attention. Instead of fearing it, approach disagreements with curiosity. Ask yourself: What is this situation teaching me about my needs or triggers? How can I communicate honestly while respecting the other person’s perspective?
In my practice, I combine techniques like cupping, energetic massage and acupressure to help you release built-up tension and restore balance. These treatments work wonders for smoothing for example Liver Qi and leaving you with a sense of calm and clarity.
Setting boundaries is about creating space for your well-being. As you honor your needs, you’ll find it easier to navigate challenges with grace and avoid the buildup of resentment. Start small, breathe deeply and remember: your energy and peace are worth protecting. Don’t feel ashamed or guilty about protecting that. Nobody understands your needs more than you do.
Personal book tip:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
